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RockinSha
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Name: Ashley
Birthday: 12/1/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: Music, Concerts, Road Trips, Family, Friends
Expertise: I really have no expertise except for how to live my life to its fullest and what makes me happy :)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  PennyLayne82
Member Since:
11/16/2003
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| Oh happy day...it's Tuesday and it's day one of two of working doubles. Ewwww gross. It's really not so bad honestly. Just starts off slow but ends really quick. Good thing I work with Jennifer tonight because working with her always makes the time go quicker because we have fun.
So it's a new year. I'm always excited about it being the new year for many reasons but mainly because it's a fresh start. I really don't have resolutions, however I do have changes I plan on making. My eating habits, working out, financial habits, continue to build on friendships and make new ones, spending more time with family, building my relationship with God (continue building) and so on and so forth.
First thing was first this year and that was I finally got the ring my dad gave me from Bill. First, I was going to meet him somewhere, give him back his Dvds and the ring he gave me. Then I was talking to my sister Carrie because I was just freaking out about seeing him because I didn't have a clue as to how I would react. Then it hit me when I started crying again...the pain just came back to me as if it was brand new. I hate Jayce and Bill. I hate them for doing this to me...for not caring about what I feel, just as long as they are happy it matters not how I react, how many tears I have cried, how many pieces my heart has broken into. I'm not one to feel such hatred, but with them...I will forgive in time. Diary of a Mad Black Woman is good for my heart and soul that's for sure.
Second...I've met someone and this was very unexpected. Earlier in December, I was out with Jennifer and Ryan celebrating Ryan's birthday at this local bar named Rog's. This girl came up to me, telling me that one of the bouncers thought I was really cute and that he was interested wondering if I was single. I was very flattered, and I thought he was pretty cute, but was in no position to get into anything or desire if that. Well, Ang and I went out to Rog's that next weekend, and I talked to him for a little bit. I gave him my number, but totally forgot he gave me his. Well, he never called, and it kind of irked me because he was so interested, but never used my number. I was being stubborn saying I refuse to play detective and track him down. To my surprise, I discovered I had his number after all. I started texting him, and we started talking from there. Since then we've hung out, had a date, and kissed. He's one of the sweetest guys I have ever met and absolutely adorable. We had our first date on Saturday and we watched a movie at my place and then went to Rog's to meet up with some of his friends. It was a lot of fun aside from the fights breaking out, but just spending time with him is great. My friends approve, his friends seem to be cool with me so far. I hear nothing but good things about him from other people. I'm just really happy right now and hope things get better. We're taking it slow, getting to know each other, and trying to see each other as much as we can because we are pretty busy people.
The jobs have been going well. My manager at the inn is being so kind and trying to give me on full day off a week although in return I have to work a couple more doubles, but that's okay. I can deal with that. Today and tomorrow are my double days then I'm either at one or the other which I can deal with.
Time to look productive. | | |
| I feel unbelievably miserable right now. I started getting a cold on Christmas, and I've been trying to fight it but it seems to be getting worse. Damn, what timing too. Tomorrow I'm going to Chicago for Songs from a Scene, and then Saturday is New Years Eve. Although I have no official plans, it'd be so fantastic to feel great that night. Good thing I will have a 5 hour break between jobs so I can get all the crap I need to get done finished and be ready for tomorrow so I can rest up before I leave. Til then orange juice, water, and soup are my best friends.
My Christmas was good...I worked 4 hours at the Inn, spent time with my family, and then worked 3 hours at The Video. I got a lot of pink items...a pink jump suit, pink tennis shoes, pink and black purse, pink plush star pillow. I got some awesome gifts. I officially have all of the 4 main Wizard of Oz Characters in Nutcracker form. It rocks. I was hoping to get Wicked and Son of a Witch to read along with the special edition of The Wizard of Oz on DVD. That's totally okay though. I can just buy them myself :)
I gave in and treated myself to the Fantastic 4 soundtrack, and I'm in love. I can't get enough of it. I just like the different flavors...you go from Ben Moody, to Taking Back Sunday, to Fifty Cent, to Ryan Cabrera...it rocks.
I hope everyone has a great New Year and had a fantastic Christmas. Mission find a boy to kiss at new years begins today haha. | | |
| As usual, boys will forever be a mystery. I've finally come to terms that if a guy hurts me, not to cry or fret over it...it's his loss. I now have discovered what I have to offer in relationships and friendships, and it's a lot. I'm beautiful, fun, smart with sometime dumb moments, funny, spontaneous, and care free. Sure, physically I could drop some pounds, but I'm working on it. It's not so easy with holidays and all, but I'll get there. It takes time. Anyways I've just decided to enjoy now, single or not. I feel like I say this over and over agian, but it's something I need to tell myself when a potential fails, in which has happened, but why waste time and tears on someone who obviously isn't losing any sleep over you?
Having 2 full time jobs is starting to catch up with me. When I don't get enough sleep I get really short...and I don't get alot of sleep at all...it's rare I get to sleep in. I think I am going to tough it out through August when I go back to school and then drop The Inn so I won't overload myself. I think I'll be financially stable enough to be okay with $1,000 a month. I would like the room furnihsed and all that jazz while I have the two jobs.
My sis Carrie is pregnant again. Let's hope she gets through the first trimester without a miscarriage. It'd be the best Christmas present ever. | | |
| What can I say? Life is full of challenges, and the biggest challenge is not really the problem itself, but how I handle the problem. I think I did okay...
I got my cry out that I have been waiting to cry for over a year. I was right, and I wish I wasn't. I was hoping that I was some psycho freak thinking outrageous thoughts because people who love me or once loved me so much wouldn't do this. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I am glad I had my sister there. We all knew it was coming, we were just waiting for the green light and the official word through the horse's mouth. What's been done is done, and I know I'll have a really hard time loving someone again as much as I loved him...or trusting someone in that manner.
I know I made my mistakes in the relationship, but don't you think I suffered enough? I knew I was wrong, but he was the one that ended it this time, not me. He said he forced himself out of love with me. In other words, he found someone there that was able to replace me. It breaks my heart once again, but this time it means its really over. I was having this false hope that we'd hang out again, realize that we do belong together (because I honestly believed there was no one else out there for me that makes me feel the way he did) but God has other plans. Earlier this week I found the Christmas gift I got him last Christmas, and I had to fight tears. A few days later...must've been the big stop sign for me.
I'll be fine. I mean, I am fine...it hurts less each day and I get less angry. Of course, they're out of my life...they obviously don't care about me like I did about them. I am better off.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I got to hang out with my family, go to Jennifer's and hang out with her's, and then I worked from 8:30p.m.-2a.m. Now I am here killing time for another 13 minutes before I have to do all the paper work and what not to wind down my shift. | | |
| Another slow day at work...everyone has checked out, still another 2 and a half hours before official checking in begins, and only 18 people expected to arrive. Oh joy, this is going to be FUN!
So what's new with me...
First off, Friday was evaluations at The Video. Annnnd I GOT FULL TIME  Yay! I am very happy about moving up in the ladder, getting guranteed hours, benefits, and of course more money. What I am NOT looking forward to is not having a life...for now at least. I decided to keep both full time jobs simply because I want to pay off the credit cards and furnish my apartment ASAP. Not to mention pay off as much school loans as possible, so that when I defer them when i go back to school, I won't owe THAT much.
Secondly, well, nothing. No new love in my life...hell, I won't even have time for love. I mean if I meet a guy who is willing to be VERY patient with my schedules and what not then great. I'm not really looking as usual...
My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. The Dog & Everything is having a show in Champaign. I reserved a hotel room at employee rate, and I am trying to get a bunch of friends to come down with me for the show, and then celebrate my birthday in the hotel room. Not many people have responded, which makes me really sad. The more people I get to come, the cheaper it will be. It's $44 for the hotel room. at least 6 people can fit in a two double bed room, so that would be like $8 a person. Plus if we carpool it'll be cheaper for gas, and more people who drink, less money we spend on alcohol. I know one or two people who are leaning on the yes side, possibly 3. I hope more come... | | |
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